Often, in our desire to achieve our goals, we fall into viewing networking as a transactional activity—where we focus on what we hope to gain from others. While this mindset might yield short-term results, it often leaves us feeling unfulfilled and disconnected.
Inspired by the wisdom of Srikumar Rao in his book, Are You Ready to Succeed? I want to share a paradigm-shifting perspective on networking—one that focuses not on what you can get but on how you can connect deeply, serve authentically, and allow a virtuous circle to form around you. This is how you can have greater success in networking.
Rao offers a profound concept
He proposes that the sole justification for fostering a relationship is when a person’s qualities, particularly their positive values, resonate deeply with you. This is not about networking for the sake of building a “web of influence.” It’s about something far more meaningful: connecting with like-minded individuals.
Let me unpack this idea and share practical steps to reimagine your approach to networking.
Seek Like Minded Spirits, Not Contacts
Networking isn’t about collecting business cards or LinkedIn connections; it’s about discovering people who resonate with you on a deeper level. Rao reminds us to look for individuals whose values, actions, or essence touch something profound within us. These are the people with whom you feel a sense of alignment, a natural affinity.
When you meet someone new, pay attention to the subtle clues they drop about who they are and what they value. Are they passionate about making a difference? Do they radiate kindness, integrity, or resilience? If something about them moves you, take a moment to reflect on what it is and why.
Express what Resonates and be Sincere
Once you’ve identified what resonates within you, let them know. This step is critical. Tell them—clearly and concisely—what it is about them that touches you. For example:
- “I really admire how you approach challenges with such creativity and calm—it’s inspiring.”
- “Your commitment to supporting your team’s growth really stands out to me. It’s something I deeply value myself.”
Be sincere. Your communication must come from the heart, and it should never feel forced or transactional. Genuine recognition builds trust and fosters an authentic connection.
Drop indications of your own values, passions, and priorities and see if there is additional alignment.
Make Thoughtful, Aligned Offers of Help
True connection comes from a place of service, and this is where your offer of help plays a role. But Rao emphasizes that this offer must be sincere and backed by a willingness to follow through. Ask yourself:
- What is one small but impactful way I could support this person?
- Is there a resource, introduction, or piece of encouragement I could provide?
Your goal is not to impress them but to genuinely enhance their journey. This is enlightened self-interest at its best—you’ll feel good about your contribution, and societal well-being is elevated.
Allow a Network to Form Around You
Rao’s approach is radically different from the typical “build your network” advice. He suggests that instead of trying to form a network, you allow a network to naturally form around you.
When you consistently engage with people in this meaningful way, you create a virtuous circle—a ripple effect of positivity and connection.
This approach isn’t about selflessness; it’s about enlightened self-interest. By cultivating these authentic connections, you’ll not only enhance your own sense of purpose and fulfillment but also contribute to the greater good.
The Virtuous Circle vs. The Vicious Cycle
Approaching networking with a transactional mindset can lead to a self-serving and hollow relationship.
But when you approach it from a place of alignment, admiration, and sincere service, you set a virtuous circle into motion. The energy you put out into the world is amplified and comes back to you in ways that are often surprising and profoundly rewarding.
Putting It into Practice
Over the next week, I invite you to try this approach. Start by reflecting on the people you’re currently connecting with or want to connect with. Ask yourself:
- Who touches a deeply responsive chord in me?
- What is it about them that resonates with me?
- How can I express my admiration in a way that is heartfelt and sincere?
- What is one small way I can support them that aligns with who they are and what they value?
As you put these practices into action, you’ll notice something beautiful happening. The focus shifts from “What can I get? to “How can I serve? ” As Rao explains, this shift unleashes powerful forces—your efforts are amplified, and opportunities flow back to you naturally and effortlessly.
Networking, when approached this way, becomes a deeply fulfilling practice. It’s no longer a chore or a transactional game; it’s a way to build authentic relationships that enrich your life and the lives of others.
I hope this helps you create virtuous circles. If you would like more insights on networking to advance your career, thought leadership, or business, please reach out to me on LinkedIn or email and ask for my e-book.
Warmly,
Leanne Terrace
